The knee bone’s connected to the…

I, like most of you, have an over idealized view of beauty when it comes to myself, actresses, women on the street, you name it.  We’ve been programed our whole lives to have this view.  Skinny, almost to the point of anorexic, perfect hair, flawless skin, Barbie like proportions, and despite all my beliefs not to fall for it, I do.  I look at myself in the mirror and I think I want to look like Kate Hudson.  I constantly have to remind myself that the women we see in ads, in movies, on TV have a job to do, and part of their job is to work hard to look the way they look.  My job is to be me, and be proud of it, so that my daughter will do the same.

But when I do look at my daughter I see sheer beauty.  Yes, she is classically beautiful, and that is not just this mother saying so.  But I’m not talking about her face, or her perfect little proportions.  And as beautiful as she is on the inside, I’m not talking about that either.  I’m talking about the mechanical work of her body.  I’m in complete awe.  I can see her muscles forming and growing stronger as she learns how to do more things.  I look at her and I see what the body was built for doing.  I see that she listens to her body and eats what she needs to and then stops.  She pushes herself to strive for more physically because it’s fun and why not try, and then she listens to herself when she suspects it might be just a toe over the line.

I often wonder when I lost the ability to truly listen to my body.  How has that instinctual message gotten lost?  I know when I’m starving, but I don’t know before then.  I know when I am exhausted (okay I’m a working mom, I’m always exhausted).  I know I should try to push myself during my workouts, but then I feel tired and I don’t.  In other words I don’t listen to the mechanics of my body.  I think part of the awe I have for my daughter and her body is that I see it as it should be.  I see real beauty in how the human body was designed. I want to treat it with the utmost respect. I want it to function at the highest performance not just because I love and respect my daughter, but because that’s what we should do.  We would with a luxury car, with our house, so we should with our bodies as well.

Respect Yourself

Respect Myself?!?!


The next question, then, is why don’t we feel the same way about ourselves.  Why don’t I see my body as this perfect, amazing machine and all the things it is capable?  Why don’t I treat it with the same respect I would a Lexus?  I have no problem shoveling a bag of Cheetos into my mouth instead of premium gasoline (sorry peas and carrots).  Are the Cheetos so yummy that I forget to listen to myself?  YES.  When people/memes/FaceBook tell me to respect myself, and respect my body I think “ahhh shut up, I do.”  And truly I do.  I am proud of who I am.  I do show respect for myself in a million different ways. I just fail to think of my body as a machine that needs respect to.

I’ll be honest, I don’t have a solution moving forward to do this.  I mean I can think to myself with everything that I put into my mouth “is this respectful of my body” but then pizza is just yummy, and I’ll eat it.  I have some strongly formed habits which have seriously outweighed my body’s natural ability to tell me to stop.  I will, at times, think it’s time to respect myself physically, and I will work to break my habits, but it won’t be overnight.  In the meantime though I will hold true to what I do love and respect about myself. I will focus on the positive.  And the better I feel about myself the more it will encourage positive actions.


About stellalucille

Growing up, I did not like to shop-in fact, it almost always ended in tears. As a teenager I was busy baking, swimming, and hanging out with my boyfriend, not reading Seventeen or Elle for fashion advise. There was no indication I’d find my calling in fashion. But that all changed when I went to Los Angeles for collage and wanted to look the part. At first I loved to shop, but I easily gained the freshman 15, then more. Shopping became more difficult, but I stilled wanted to dress well. I fell in love with finding fashion forward clothing for the curvy woman and from there I had a plus size clothing. I’ve been all sizes- from straight sizes to junior plus, plus, maternity plus and back again. I love fashion and believe everyone needs to dress in his or her own style, while meshing that with what is fashion forward, fits, and works within your budget. Even though I’m the woman that wanted to wear jeans to my own wedding, I’ve always been the person that friends and family turn to for fashion advise, developing style, creating a shopping plan, educating them on fit, and helping them see beyond their own body perceptions. Put it this way I didn’t wear jeans to my wedding but when I found that elusive, perfect dress the first thing I said was it “feels” like I’m in my jeans. Finding the right fit is not always easy. Finding the right clothes is not always easy, and finding the right style is not always easy. But I can help you with all of that. Whatever shape or size, gender, lifestyle or budget there are great, fashionable, clothes for you. Feeling good in what you wear can make you feel great in who you are.

Posted on January 24, 2016, in Beauty is Confidence and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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